Archive for May, 2012

Tomorrow is a New Day

New Day, New Attitude

Yesterday seemed like one of the worst days just crept up on me. It wasn’t necessarily that any one person messed up my attitude but more like 1 person: Myself! I focused on all of the bad energy in my life yesterday, fed off of it like a mut, and it ruined my day. It ruined my attitude which in turn ruined every aspect of my being. But that was only yesterday. I know in my heart that tomorrow is a new day no matter what the prior day brings.

You Get What You Give Out

Some days just give you more grief than others. It seems to all build up in one day, you lose faith, and allow your day to be shot all to hell. Only if you let it. And boy, did I let it get the best of me yesterday. It depends on how you let it get you down and how well you bounce back. If you dwell in the negativity, your life will continue to bring you negative energy.

My Need for a New Day

I came into work with no drive yesterday, I hardly cracked a smile and I rode home with no music on. That’s when you know I’ve had a bad day! It just seemed like everything was crashing down on my shoulders, but in reality I was just letting it appear that way. It’s all about what you do with what you’re given! Take your life day by day, even when you’re preparing for the future. Tomorrow really is a new day.

You’re in Control!

If you think for a second that you can’t change your thoughts as they come you’re mistaking. I’ve learned that when a negative thought comes your way, all you have to do is replace it with another one. Although it’s easier said than done— It’s not impossible! We’re humans so it’s only right that we will have these negative thougths that we can’t control but because we are human, we have the ability to do just about anything we put our minds to. You will still have your good/bad days, regardless, but being more aware of your negative thoughts makes you better able to change that about yourself.

Controlling Your Mind

I began working for Foundation Financial Group, which is a full financial institution, but we specialize in refinancing homes at our branch in Indianapolis. When I first signed up for the gig, I knew I’d have to be nationally licensed in mortgages eventually in order to be a Loan Officer. The first time I started studying the book, I was overwhelmed. I actually told myself I wasn’t going to pass it and I failed the first time. I had negative thougths about it so I got negative results. I dwelled on the hardship of it– that I wasn’t a test taker and and that I would never be able to remember everything.  But some time passed, I heard other people’s success stories and that they had failed it the first time. It was the hardest test I was going to take so far, but that only made me want to work harder. I wanted to see my “congratulations” emails from the rest of the company when I passed my test. I envisioned that before I took the test. I KNEW I was prepared, but the test was purposefully tricky so I couldn’t say 100% but I felt good compared to the first time I took it. I stayed calm, unlike my first time, ate right, slept right, and took care of business. I stayed positive most of all and I passed that bad boy!

“The Secret”

If you haven’t heard of “The Secret,” I suggest that you watch it. It’s a documentary based on how to make yourself think more positively, however there’s much more to it than just that. If you’re a person who reads books or watches movies and documentaries that are self-help or motivational, you will come away from this knowing more about yourself and what you’re capable of!

Yeah if there’s a death in the family or something really serious weighing on your mind then there’s nothing you can do about that except work through it and obviously TRY to remain as positive as you can. Some people are just naturally negative people and that’s hard to overcome. But I’m talking, for the most part, on a daily basis there are negative thoughts we have all day that we don’t even realize because we are used to seeing out of our eyes only. We don’t think about the thoughts we’re having can actually be lethal to us. We may not find out til later in life though….

Ajené tha.God

I had so many questions for Ajené about his music…. The “why did you start rapping?” type of questions all the way to the “where did the name Ajené tha.God come from?” questions. After the interview I had cold chills. Ajené means “This One Will Not Die.” Because even when he is gone, he will still be legendary.

 Ajené is a one man band but he doesn’t ride all the way solo. “Cameron Nelson who by herself is C-Squared Management,” Ajené said.”She is like super-manager. Cam is responsible for every opportunity I have — every stage my fresh toes have touched, the computer I record on, everything!”

I heard him say “spittage” or “team spittage” on a lot of his songs. I knew what it meant but wanted to hear the story behind it. “TeamSPITTAGE is everybody I deal with, it was some shit I was saying before rap,” he said. ” Certain people have some nice raps,and some niggas got SPITTAGE. U know who…Ajené is what I am called, and we are ALL Gods & Goddesses, we just forgot.”

Ajené tha.God’s Esoteric Rap Son Mixtape

Check it Before you Wreck It

Who doesn’t wonder why Mark Twain wrote, why Michael Jordan played basketball? I wondered what made Ajené want to be an artist. “I don’t know, it pursued me really. I wasn’t doing much, living with friends, doing whatever to get a few dollars,” Ajené said. “I’ve always been into music more than the above average music fan, randomly wrote throughout my life, always been a cool dude, so… made sense…”

You know you love that old school hip hop that takes you back to the 90’s,  that REAL music… It’s been every bit of 20 years since you’ve heard this sound. Shit, I’m assuming by now you forgot what that sounds like, so let me remind you. 

I had no clue what to expect at first. I plugged my iPod in and listened to it in the car one morning on the way to work. Honestly, I was blown away. The way Ajené plays with language, the wit he portrays and his distinct sound are just a few reasons why I’m so drawn to his music. It’s poetry to a beat. Rhymes and metaphors that only Ajené can produce.

Unique as the NMLS number I’m working toward in my mortgage career, this guy’s talent cannot go ignored. The love he has for rhythm is incorporated into his DNA. The forming of his verses seem effortless but yet so intricate. His smooth, distinct voice speaks words of young man wisdom. Not only are his verses natural but so is his talent in front of the camera. Ajené doesn’t have to elaborate on weed, sex, and  money in his raps to prove himself like every other commercial artist. It’s more than that. He’s creating an art…. an art that has been forgotten.

The Brand That is Ajené tha.God

 I automatically wondered where and why he started rapping and why he picked the type of beats he did when I heard it the first time. He said, “Nothing was truly intentional besides me rapping on beats. I just like what I like, and that’s always been different than the norm ’cause most people’s norms are coming from these bullshit media outlets, all of them. It’s even getting to satellite radio, blogs, & most shit I thought was ‘underground.'” Ajené only having started rapping a year ago, he has had plenty of time to develop the persona he wants to present to the world.

Knowing that he hasn’t rapped too long tells me even more about his skills as an artist.”I just write with the intention of saying everything I have to say in kind of a coded language but its still straight english, I guess. I want people to rewind and recognize the cleverness, the wit. Its risky, but fuck it, 99% of people are SIMPLETONS but I got to do what I like to do, fuck you…but I love you….”

Product of Our Parents

Your kids are generally the product of what you’ve made them. But even then, you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink. You can instill good values in your kids, but when they grow up, they make their own choices; create they’re own values. Take me for example. There are things I definitely got from my parents –like simplicity. But I didn’t learn how to go after whatever I wanted. I didn’t know that I could do whatever I put my mind to until I got to college and proved it to myself. I didn’t know I was going to stand out from the crowd because I pursued a life my family didn’t even know existed. I’m never jealous of kid’s with different parents or a better life than mine because I know God put my family and I on this earth to be exactly how he wanted us to be.

Bad Apples

But, you have those  kids who have seen their dad beat on their mom, not work, live off the government, have no drive, no determination— just living, not learning. Not growing, but remaining stagnant. Some of those bad apples actually have great fathers, they just think they’re too good to listen to them or that they don’t have to listen to them period. Then there are the polar opposite ones — they have a horrible father and because that’s all they know, they become that same person without evening realizing it or meaning to.

Good Apples

These days I see people who are good parents, but their kids walk all over them. I also see great parents who pass on their wisdom to their kids and they acutally pick up on it. Lately I’ve met some really amazing people. I only keep those kind in my life but I get more intrigued every time I meet another person that’s on the same wavelength as me. There’s this guy…. he is a great man, great father, just overall good person. He has completely changed my perspective on men. There really are good ones out there! He has drive for everything he does, won’t settle for less, treats women with respect and he credits those qualities mainly to his father. Yes, he’s grown up to know right from wrong and actually follows it now, but he learned those values from his dad. He picked up on how to just be a good man by being around his father and seeing how he carried himself in every situation. Having a good father changes the way he views things for the better, and actually implements that into his every day life. Good father+good husband+good person=Good man

Life is about taking your time. It’s already too short. If you just run through life with no meaning, you’ll see your life has no meaning. We are put on this earth to discover what we’re good at, to see why God gave us life. Whether it may be to help people with disabilities, be a writer, or an astronaut. Even as a young 23 year old who should feel invincible, I live every day aware that I may not see the next one. It’s not old age that takes you from this earth; it’s God. I’ve seen 3 of my young friends die in the last few months. I’ve already seen enough in my life that I know I have to appreciate everything I go through because I know it’s making me a better person each and every day.   After seeing 3 of my friends die so young, it made me think, what if I was the one laying there in that casket? Everytime I left one of the funeral homes, I thanked God for giving me another day. I thanked him for making me me, and I know when he does take me, it’s for damn good reason. So I make it my motivation to live every day like it is the last one I’ll ever see again.

Rough Starts…

Not to toot my own horn, but I’m thankful for me. After Mother’s Day yesterday, I realized that although I’ve had a rough life (Lord knows I’m not the only one), I would absolutely not want to be anyone else. I’m thankful for the struggles I’ve gone through, thankful for the pain I’ve had to endure, appreciative that I’ve gotten to go through things that some adults never get to see in a lifetime. When I spent the day with my mom, I had a few things ring clearer in my head….

Family Lessons

For the longest time, I blamed my family for me having a rough life at first. As a kid, who else do you blame but your parents? You didn’t sign up for this so it’s definitely not your fault. Your mom brought you into this world, it has to be her fault… But when you live and learn, and I mean learn, you think about what makes you you. Your parents make you, your sister, your grandma. But the person that really has an impact on you is yourself. Your family gives you the tools to choose your own path.

Pain Makes It All Worth the Wait….

So no matter what, your childhood might not be ideal but YOU’RE the one that grows up and learns that you are the captain of your own ship. You make your life what it is. MAXIMIZE that life. If you only knew what I’ve gone through… It’s too much to write in this post and you all would know me way too well; I’m not ready for all that. But I went to college, got my degree, am working for a very rewarding full-time job and it’s my very first big girl job. I never thought I’d make it through school, let alone be working for a mortgage company. I’m blown away by my own success and by my own logic. DRIVE was never handed down to me but I found it and I’ll never let it go.



Negative thoughts, give you negative actions. Trick your mind into positive thinking. It’s harder than it seems, but thinking negatively guarantees you to be unhappy. Be aware of the things you’re telling yourself because you start believing them, whether they’re good or bad. Look at yourself in the mirror every day and thank God you are who YOU are.

You must be beautiful on the inside to be truly beautiful on the outside

It takes one strong person to just keep pushing. It takes a strong person to stay strong even through the weak moments. It takes a strong person to stay brave when they face fear. It takes a strong person to stay humble even when they know they’re the shit. Love who you are. Treat people how you want to be treated. Your outlook on life will improve, I promise.

I recently took a break from myself. I devoted the last six months of my life to a man who had no idea who he is or what he wanted. I admit, a couple months ago, I probably would have told you I didn’t know what/who I was either. That was because I was not me when I was with him. I’m not talking shit behind anyone’s back, I am simply telling you like it is. If you’ve been through this before, you know exactly where I’m coming from. Before you read the rest of this post, read this paragraph.

This became my motivation….  I love me. No one else has to love me.  I’m a self-made success story. Why would I ever lose sight of me for someone else? I NEVER WILL AGAIN….

A man is a great thing to have around. Who doesn’t need companionship? But there is such a thing as bad timing and boy did that timing smack me right in my face, spun me for a loop and then some. I was never the type to fall for someone… for three years I was by myself before this one. I loved the single life but when I had someone by my side, I felt like either I could conquer the world or the world would going to conquer me.

But when a smart woman like me reads into things that may seem minor at first, it’s like seeing yourself as clear as day in the mirror. A realization comes over you and it takes over you. I won’t dwell on the bullshit I went through when I gave my heart away, but just want EVERYONE to know to watch who you believe and what you fall for. Nothing is ever as it seems…… You don’t want someone else to be responsible for your heart, thoughts, and feelings.

Not saying there aren’t great guys and great relationships. I know plenty of great guys and have seen people have successful relationships, but 9 times out of 10 ladies and gents, you’re believing the wrong person. We want it to work so bad we believe ourselves and them when we know in our hearts it’s the wrong decision. Maybe you stay with them because they’re “so hot” or because their sex is good, or because they simply make you feel better in whatever way it is. Reread that statement I just made. You know it’s the wrong reason to stay but yet we do. Not only is it wrong, but it changes how you perceive yourself. Don’t lose YOU.

Get out of the bad before you lose sight of yourself, your dreams, and the goodness of people.